Fear & Loathing Contraceptives

Malayna Jane's Birthday was the other day and went it well! Our baby turned 2 and it caused me to think of her birth. It brought me many memories and stirred many emotions in my heart and soul. It replayed countless moments in my mind, mostly good ones. It reminded me of the day we found out about her.

My heart smiles when I look at her and her mother. I think of that stormy day in March, when she was born. It was at 11:20 am and she weighed 8 pounds & three ounces.

I can remember saying to my wife and family right after birth, that I can't wait to have another one! GOOD THING LISA COULD"T REACH ME and she really didn't hear me! Rookie mistake, I won't say that this time, out loud any ways. In my defense I was caught up in the moment!


If you noticed the picture above his entry, it was a couple days after MJ was born. Enjoy it while it's here. Smile at my attempt to grow my "Earl" mustache. Lisa's not thrilled I put that picture up, she says she looks tired and ugly. I think they both look beautiful and I wouldn't change a thing, maybe I would have shaved my mustache off.


I would like to share some history about our lives, and will try my best not ramble. For those of you who have read my entries I have a habit of jumping around and will try my best not to confuse you.


It was our second trip to Ontario and we were excited! Our last trip we made to my Moms I was sick with a bad case of bronchitis, and got a mystery skin rash on my face? I had it for most of the trip and I looked severely disfigured. It went away when I got home and have no trace of it left, like it never happened? Before we go into the border we stopped at a Diner and we ordered coffee and I got pie. About half way through I discovered some curly hair in the cream? It got stuck in my throat like a familiar scratch. I mentioned to my company, then to the waitress. I said I wanted pie, not hair pie. We all got a big laugh out of it and free coffee.


I have found worse things in my food during my traveling years. Things that I would have won a million dollars for on Fear Factor. That chapter will be called "What the **** is in my dish?"

What I don't understand is when they ask if I want another one? No thanks, I'm good! My stomach going hurt bad enough!

We reached the border with relief and thought we would be at my moms soon. It all seemed simple enough, we would give our identification, and be off. They told us to pull over up ahead and come inside! We did what was asked and we were told us we could wait there until the immigration officer arrived.


To make this long story short we waited for a few hours, my mom almost falling off the chair asleep, my wife tired as well. We decided to go back to the casino and wait. We spent some money and I broke even, we were passing time. The two slept in the car, while I roamed the casino with my notebook and pen.


I was feeling a bit Gonzo, due to my lack of sleep. I could almost hear Hunter's voice telling me something I could not understand. I was mumbling strange things to myself and felt completely worn out.


It was then when I came to room with free coffee and some comfy chairs, so I decided to sit. There was a older man with white hair sitting quietly, reading a newspaper. He spoke to me, "You look tired and worried." I mention our situation and he told me it has happened to many other's. That I had no worries.


We talked for some time and I discovered he was the owner of the Casino, and he mentioned that we were welcome to some rooms for a few hours. "On the house!" I told him we only had another hour or so to return to the border, but thank you kindly. We did get free breakfast though, he was a rare kind of man.


Our return the border was interesting, I had to be interviewed by officers. Asked several questions, and was asked to go into a room alone with a female officer. She told my family that she needed to be alone with me. We entered a room with a cot, and a chair. She basically flirted with me, and asked a couple questions about myself, then my marriage. "Are you in a happy marriage, or just a marriage?"


(The sound of porno music was ringing in my head) "Chicchaa wamp wammp chichaa waaa"


I stayed calm and conveyed my feelings about my wonderful wife and said I just wanted to visit my mom at her house in Canada. That I always wanted to see the beauty of the country and to just relax.


Winked at her with a smile, and said "If I was single and not in love. I would take you up on your interest in me!" She smiled, then released me and allowed us to enter Canada.


That was the last trip and the second one was much easier! We basically passed right through and made good time. I think it was due to my niece Cassie and my sister Melissa taking this trip with us. We seemed more like family and was in a mini van, plus my Mom didn't hand them a gun card for identification by accident this time!


The sunrise was beautiful, filled with bright hue. A sky filled red, orange, yellow, gold,pink, and light blue. We rested up awhile when we arrived and had a good brunch. My Mom is the best old fashioned cook I know, she can make anything from scratch! Her Italian beef is the best I've ever had, once a month I ponder driving 13 hours to taste her cooking! One of these times I just might do it, or I can just wait for her to come back?


Back to the trip, we had a good day, but Lisa was sick. She was loosing wait and vomiting? Another day passed, we were wondering if she ate something bad on the way. Finally we convinced her to go to the hospital. She was down to 100 hundred pounds, and couldn't keep any food down. After a few hours we talked to the doctor about her results, he was acting strange!


He asked me to leave the room, that he needed to talk to Lisa. It was brief, he called us back in. The doctor says, "Congrats, you guys are going to be parents, Aye! But the baby might be outside the uterus, and we might have to remove it?"


We were shocked, happy, then sad! What kind of Doctor says it that way? I mean it was like telling a organ patient "We got your organs you needed, but we might not be able to give them to you!" I was so filled with emotions, I wanted to put him in his place, or the floor!


We waited many hours and she had to hold her pee. Time passed and she asked me to go to my Moms and wait till morning. She wanted go to sleep, I fought for a brief moment, and respected her wishes. It was the longest morning I ever knew, I almost lost my wife, and now our first kid! I prayed like I never prayed before. I cried like I never did before and offered my own life for both of theirs. I was going crazy with worry, until my family calmed me down some.


The morning sun took it's sweat @** time, but it was time for me to go back to the hospital. I hurried my way to her room, but they had moved her. I didn't take me too long to locate my beautiful wife and child. Lisa still hadn't urinated yet, if it was me I would have gone in the bed.


More time passed and they took her to oncology and told me to wait outside. My mind was filled with complete fear, for I knew what oncology meant. I wanted to break down the door, but then what? She was in good hands and if it was cancer, was I supposed to heal her disease.


They came out of the room and I calmly asked her what was going on. She was smiling, and showed me a sonogram. "The heartbeat was strong, and the baby is the size of a bean." I was told everything is fine, she was hydrated now, and the baby is fine. My heart was smiling and I could finally breath. This is the shorter and cleaned up version of our first notice of our little MJ.


(My Stepfather collapsed and passed out during this visit. We had to keep him alive until the ambulance came.) It was a trip that changed all our lives forever!


If you want read the full story, it will be in my memoirs. The title will be called, "Fear & Then Scared Shit less" :)


We had been together since 1999 and only wore a condom twice in almost 8 years. Then we take our trip and discover a pregnancy, we thought one of us had fertility problems?


The baby was conceived with both our cars were in the shop, we were forced to stay home for a while. I can remember we didn't watch a lot of TV or read any books. Cum to think of it we spent most of our time doing exercises.


The odd thing about it all, was a couple weeks before I had a dream my deceased brother Don handed me a baby! Then the night before the trip, Lisa had a little bloating look. She said "I'm crapping and look a little bloated." I kissed her lips and then her belly, saying "Good night Lisa and good night little baby, Sleep good you two!"


Life is funny in a good maddening way sometimes! We live our life a certain way, almost care free. Then it can envelope you in a joyful fear, and give you a blessed happiness. We were scared, like we our now! We have another child on the way, and feel unprepared. The difference between the two is our experience and new found family. I've heard from many people "You can never really afford a kid, so just enjoy the moments!" The advice is true, but I plan to give it 200% this time. We are nervously happy for our family and welcome another member. May life allow my family be blessed with good fortune and well health.


May life be kind and filled with love for all of you as well! May life hold all the needed doors open for everyone of you! Thank you for reading this entry and have a great week!


Good news! My father was told today his cancer is in remission!


I will try to put some more pictures up, or write a good entry about Malayan's Birthday.


Peace&Love
Wes&Family