Thursday, December 31, 2009

To Good Times

It's that time of the year again! When we break out the new calendars and ponder about our life. Another Christmas has came and went, the holidays have filled our bellies. Long distance friends and relatives have spread the cheer by sending greetings by computer,phone, and U.S. mail.

For my family we shared a small thrown together meal. You see our oven went out a week before Christmas day. We still had to bake our gifts for all the family, we made due with toaster ovens. They turned out surprisingly well, we even enjoyed some ourselves.

It would have been nice to have the landlord call us before he enjoyed a feast at his family in another state.

Like I said we made due, we had a Cornish hen with butter, savory, and rosemary. I made some deviled eggs,red roasted potatoes with red peppers, with sugar snap peas. Lisa made some stuffing and crescent rolls. Lisa, Malayna, and I shared a good warm meal together.

Malayna got sick just before Christmas and both us shortly after. So, we had plenty of tissues to go around.

Later that evening we watched "It's A Wonderful Life" it is our favorite holiday film. I usually discuss this film in depth, but will let it speak for it self this year. I really enjoyed Charles Dickens this year, "A Christmas Carol" really touched me this year. More than most years, I guess it's because I feel blessed to have friends and family in my life.

For the first time I was able to read "The Night Before Christmas" to M.J. She asked me to read it twice, Lisa enjoyed it too. We allowed Malayna to open 2 gifts, she was overjoyed by it. It was a bit of a task to stop her after two, even more so to get her to sleep. Eventually she crashed, so we placed the cookies and milk out.

Then from the top of the roof we heard a clutter and Santa delivered her gift. We told Santa it was about time and went to bed.

Late afternoon we opened all the gifts and documented the occasion with cameras and video. Lisa got me a "Doctor Who" book that I wanted and I put together an album of our family. It contained photos of her youth, photos of things we did before M.J, what I like to refer to as B.M.J.(1999-2007)

I placed her baby belly photos with some birth pics, and countless photos that have been stuck on my cell phone. They have been on it since 2007, I had won the battle and retrieved them all.(Another long story.....) I had prints made and surprised her with this family album. :)

My father and stepmother Kay stopped by and handed out more gifts. We had a good time and they were off. They left to prepare for the get together in Pekin, IL. They booked a Hotel for a couple days and threw a bash for the closer relatives. It went well, we shared more memories, food and gifts.

The trip home was nerve racking, the roads were covered with snow. The three lane interstate had only half of a lane cleared enough to drive. There was no drifting and it had stopped snowing, but they never cleaned the roads? I think it was a money issue that caused the madness for the holiday drivers. It didn't help that the majority was discourteous and I had my wife and daughter in the car.

I was fearless in my youth, but having loved in your life can alter your behavior. Most of the time it's for the better! :)

I do hope those who read this entry had a good holiday. If anybody would like to share a memory, feel free.

In the last year my family has dealt with cancer. My Dad was diagnosed with terminal cancer and has recovered for now. My wife and I had dealt with a miscarriage and some other troubles. Just like most people we have grieved and celebrated the passing of loved ones. We've cherished the good through all the bad, for it could always be worse.

In life we can march to a slow death or embrace life for what it is sometimes. Maybe we don't have much to be thankful for, but we have just enough. The ups and downs of the past years have shaped our souls, the years have granted us some truthful wisdom. My wife and I are in our thirties now and have to start from scratch again!

Every bad year allows us hope for a new beginning, it permits us to try again. Some people say that if they had the chance to do it all over, they would, that would be me. Only I would try a little harder to remain healthy and optimistic with my life.

The truth is life's what it is sometimes and we have to accept it for what it is.

I would like to make an early New Years toast before I finish this entry.

May this coming year be rewarding and kind for all that wish it so. May the world embrace peace and love. I sincerely hope the best for humanity and the rest of this wonderful world. Let us welcome the start of the next decade and learn from the mistakes of the last one.

Thanks for taking the time to stop by my place and reading this basic blog. Maybe next year I will try to make it "Sassy" or something.

Until next time, please take care!

Peace & Love
Wes,Lisa, and Malayna Jane Ackerman

Thursday, December 10, 2009

The Lights In My Life

I do enjoy looking at the tree in the morning night. Sometimes peace and quite is more valuable than any sum. The light of the tree is bright it stands silent.Our pad is quiet, on occasion the heater hums.

The tree is decorated, dressed up for the holiday. An ornament here and there, with some spots bare. You see a small creature moves daily, grabbing a candy cane. It's not a mouse, it's a toddler named Malayna Jane.

She is sometimes naughty but mostly nice. Children too can brighten the darkest room. I look at the tree with anticipation, for my heart waits to place the gifts upon the skirt. The holiday hurries,the days pass swiftly.
Christmas morning looms!

No worries.

In just two short weeks it will be the eve of our delight. The morning will come, M.J will rip open her surprises. Each tear with laughter and sweet grins.
Whatever your reason for the season, if there is love it will be alright.
Shortly after the holiday ends our new year begins.

I look forward to the start of a new decade, the chance for another year.
Before I part, I wish to say Happy Holidays to you all.

Cheers to you my dear friends!

I wish to send genuine gratitude and unconditional love to my wife Lisa and our little girl M.J

Peace & Love
Loren Wesley Ackerman

Thursday, December 3, 2009

What Do I Know

Certain subjects are best avoided with family and close friends, unless they are like minded. Religion,Politics, and personal beliefs. I know many people who judge others by these three mentioned topics and they are usually deeply religious. The moral majority pass judgement on those who oppose the bibles sacred truths.

I believe it contains relevant stories and many ideas that should be practiced daily. It can be used for a the greater good and help people in life. I believe in Gods and that we should love thy neighbor. That we should try to be like Jesus and practice what we preach.

What bothers me is that people think it was written by God. When the fact is it was written by mankind centuries after the time of Jesus. That it was corrupted by controlling leaders and used it to benefit powerful people.

That it suggest that Women are to be regarded less than a man.

Even as a small child I could see holes in the Holy Bible. I did not look at one again until I met my wife. It was then I saw many things in it that I already believed and practiced. I did this without reading one, I did it by following my heart.

Back in the day there was no greedy churches, people went to others and spread the word. They went out and helped thy neighbors instead of praying and going only on Sundays to buy a a golden ticket.

I'm just explaining a small portion of my beliefs and I respect religious beliefs. I still love thy neighbor and I'm friends with all walks of life.

Just because I talk doesn't mean I'm always right. It does not mean anyone else is wrong.

If we could all rid ourselves of hate, we would live in a world of peace.

"People who love the same sex are sinners and should not have the same human rights as heterosexuals." Why because that is what God said? Is that what Jesus taught us?

Did you speak to God and he told you this?

"People who practice other religions are evil and wrong. We mustn't love Muslims or Atheists because they don't believe in God.

"We can't love Jewish people because they betrayed Jesus."

"People who have abortions are baby killers."

(I support Life)

If this was true than why do we prefer War over peace. Women,elderly,children, and infants die everyday in war. Mostly by military weapons and powerful governments.

This war has gone on too long, it has cost all countries involved. The price has been human lives on all sides and economic death for our nation.

People deny us fair health care because it will cost to much!

That is the typical reason people tell me.

Yes, I have asked strangers on the street about their opinions. What they would do if they were president, or would like to see President Obama do.

Many people bring up Jobs and good Health care for all.

If people support life than what about the pollution that taints our soil,air, and water. What about the garbage killing the oceans wildlife, the chemicals being dumped in the waterways, the chemicals being pumped into the atmosphere?

Big business has contributed to Earths demise more than the natural process of the Earths cycle.

The media and the Republicans talk about stolen Emails and the Liberal lies. They dismiss science when it gets in their way, but when data favors they accept it.

Most political leaders mention Global Warming because it can be discussed either way, part natural and the majority caused by man. They act as if they care, yet they propose plans that will not be quick enough.

Even President Obama has done this, he has also suggested clean coal as an option. You don't have to be a genius to know that it is not.

The truth is most people say they care when they fail to realize the true damage, the true cause. We spend way too much time talking instead of taking action.

Most of us defend and discuss fluff politics, the kind that truly doesn't matter.

Why can't we the people persuade the elected leaders to push for "Real" Environmental changes? Why can't leaders recognize the danger, and more importantly inform the public of the urgent need to fix it?

I believe it is because big business contributes to their reelection, industry provides monetary gains for those who help it. If they were push for strong laws that would make it hard for power companies, oil companies, and the pharmaceutical industry to poison the world, it would be bad business.

So, most powerful people will not wholeheartedly pursue this Idea of a safer and cleaner world. They will pretend they care and continue to denounce Global Warming. That way we can continue with fluff politics and ignore important issues. This pertains to many issues that need real attention, so that we can live a healthy life.

Both sides argue more than they contribute.

I can't recall the last time we had real unity. Some would say September 11, 2001 but that's not true. We were in shock and fearful of the reality of such a tragic day.

We took the time to notice one another and hug each other. We gathered together to remember those who perished, we mourned for the families affected by it.

In reality the entire world was changed by it.

On that day I heard panic on the radio, screams that Saddam did it! That gas was going to be five dollars a gallon and coworkers speak of killing "Those Sand Niggers!"

We did not even know what truly happened yet and the media was echoing Hussein.

The president sat frozen among the children when he should have reacted swiftly Then again look who I'm talking about a person who only acted swiftly to corrupt and destroy this country.

On that day I put the American flag at half mass with a gay man named Will. That's right he was Gay! Does that mean that he desecrated it by touch? Does that make me wrong to feel proud that we did this on such a terrible day?


I've noticed Fox News is concerned about the energy of the Obama Afghan Speech. That it was boring and lacked the charisma of Winston Churchill. That the end of it was put in for liberals, that he tried to make everyone happy.

Then we have Dick Cheney running his mouth about "The danger" and the mishandling of the Obama administration. How he displays American weakness, come on look who's talking. One of the central figures in the Bush Administration, a person who helped create the lingering mess we the people face today.

I think after all the years he spent in the white house his true motives have been reveled. I would hope the American people can see he is an evil man. He has been in the shadows of more than one President, causing only misfortune for all. Cheney defends his actions by blaming others when he should look in the mirror.

I just want to say to Dick Cheney, shut your mouth already!

Now back to the Obama Speech, it may not have been the speech of speeches, but it was important. I may not agree that we should follow the footsteps of Bush, but feel we should pull out cautiously. It lacked a real mention of Americas need for change, a change when it comes to war.

I believe most counties like Obama because he is not Bush, that he has stated that we would not continue the course.

When in fact he will briefly embrace war.

I know the main focus was Afghanistan, but I feel he should have put some attention on Jobs. That the billions spent could benefit this nation and that he was moving forward with jobs creation along with this Idea of more troops. Simply touched it more than what was said.

Why can't he Address the nation with the truth about the economy? Why can't he discuss the progress of prosperity, even if it is small.

I'm one of millions without a job and without benefits. I struggle each day to find work, it is easy to say that I should have one already. Sure if I had the cash to spend for gas,a good car, decent cloths, and didn't have medical issues that make it hard to get out of bed. I've applied for jobs that should be begging me to work, jobs that I'm qualified for.

Even past employers like The U.S Census Bureau which I had done in 2000. I passed the test and then received a letter regarding a 13 year old drug charge. I was arrested for a misdemeanor Marijuana charge, the amount would not even fill a pipe.

I was young and have paid for it every since. The strange thing is I once worked for Census Bureau and they had no problem then. They even begged me to continue until it was completed.

Now let the judging begin and say that I deserve what I get.

I've been clean as a whistle for longer than I can remember and have never failed a drug test. So, why am I treated like a child molester?

It is nothing new to me or to millions of other people who get discriminated. We make mistakes like not furthering our education and by poor choices in our youth. It sometimes can be a roadblock, but we usually find a way around it.

Every day gets harder for me emotionally and I can barely look in the mirror. I rarely like myself and try to stay confident each day.

I bring this up to partly vent and also use myself as an example of America today.
I know that life's what it is sometimes and tomorrow can be better.

Still I look at my wife and child with worried eyes.

After knowing this information about me you can understand why I try to avoid the news. Why I don't visit you as much anymore. After all many of us are only half the person we used to be these days. I know my heart and soul has not changed but I know I'm not the same.

Like I said people should not discuss certain subjects with others unless they are like minded individuals. The exception would be a person who listens without judgement and believes in human decency. Someone with a big heart would understand no matter the divisions in life.

Then again opinions are like sphincters. Everyone has one and thinks theirs doesn't stink.

Thanks for listening.

Loren Wesley Ackerman

Friday, November 27, 2009

Loren Ackerman Is Present

It's been some time since I posted here, but I was taught to think before I speak. For the longest time I've just wrote what I felt inside allowing the words to remain free. So, I have been writing countless pages about my feelings and my life. Almost trapped in my emotional limbo, my hearts cage.

I decided to keep those pages for me and will try my best to express myself honestly. Even if that means I lose followers and offend family.

I'm still young but getting older by the day. Just like most people I have problems, I too have loved ones pass. The car does not always run properly, the bills pile up.

The holiday puts a financial and emotional strain on family.
The best part about it is the smiles on happy faces. The stories being told, the memories being made in the moment. Sharing love with others is one of the greatest feelings known in life.

One of the worst pains in life is an infected broken tooth! I've been coping with it for too long! Popping pain pills like they are candy, still it stays. Please don't suggest going in to the dentist. It will have to wait, other things need repaired first.

A long time ago I heard that there are millions of children in need of dentistry. That there are millions of adults too, but never a mention of free dentistry. (Affordable Dentistry)

Every other night I question if I should do it my self. Just grab an ice skate and a rock, SMACK! Land on the floor, wake up and talk to a soccer ball named Wilson.

We here much discussion about Health care, both sides making points. The public in up in arms about Americans getting healthy, it hasn't happened because of money. (Then what about the money being spent to pay for war?)

Stalled because of fear brought on from false media propaganda. It has taken too long to get nowhere from the politicians from all sides of government.(What about the elected leaders being paid to destroy our country?)????-2009

If we as a country struggle to get by, then why do they get paid? Why can't they forfeit their top notch health care for their family? Why can't they forfeit their health care and salaries until we get back on track?

I'll tell you why! They don't want to suffer like our country does. They want to be separate, not desperate individuals. To remain powerful and overpaid. They wish to make proper decisions for this country and spread lies. To make promises so they might get reelected. There has been a handful of decent people who've held office. There are still a few remaining, a few who truly want good for all.

CCR once said "I ain't no senators son." This line remains true to life today. It applies with war, wealth,and health. In this world it really does make a difference in who we know.

Most of us are not from the realm of prosperity, most have had to honestly earn it.
We've had to keep on moving and stay strong. Inch by inch we crawl, step by step we walk tall. Hand over hand we climb tall mountains, but arm in arm we will right the wrongs. Together we will survive these times, as one we will overcome.

I have left out a great deal of information about my present status in life. I don't wish to overload compassionate hearts. Nor, do I wish to evoke pity. Let's just say I'm in need of a miracle in many aspects of my life. Believe me when I say it would benefit my family greatly if somebody would give me a chance to again prove my worth.

If anybody wants to fill me in on life or ask me about mine, feel free. My door is always open, as well my heart.

I do hope this Turkey Day was as splendid as mine. Love and food was passed around the table. :)

Thanks for stopping by.

Loren Ackerman & Family

Saturday, October 24, 2009

Smell My Feet

Halloween approaches, the leaves fall to the ground. Children and adults prepare for the celebration. Costumes hanging on a hook, the routes planned ahead. Minds on the prize, the sweet treasures. Buckets and bags empty, they scream to be filled.

Tick tock goes the clock.
The days fall away with the children's anticipation.
The night draws near, tick tock.

Parents are excited from the mixed emotions. Some of us still dress up and others dread the front door. Since we now have a 2 year old daughter we go out in the dark, we go trick or treating. Plus, I have an excuse to dress up, more of a reason to enjoy Halloween.

I too feel the anxieties of the evening, the hassles of the hunt. Kids have a tendency to pop out like ghouls in front of my car. I understand that children hold a one track mind, CANDY!

The catch 22 of the modern times, we must protect the children. Therefore more parents are present, unlike the simple freedoms we had as kids.

Don't think I'm suggesting to let the candy zombies roam free! (Candy, we want candy!)

I see the difference from my youth and today's, we had much longer chains. My parents were there, but kept a safe distance. We had the opportunity to run house to house, without a parent trying to catch their breath.

Yes, there has always been a boogeyman. There has always been danger around a dark corner. Today we have programs that require monsters to register in American neighborhoods. Parents today watch the news, we know of Amber Alerts.

We as individuals know the world is full of wrongs. It holds some truly scary humans, but also contains responsible people. It is very simple, when we take the kids out this Halloween, do it right.

Teach them to be safe, to look both ways before crossing a road.
To protect themselves and others around them.
Don't leave behind friends or family in a mad rush to grab the chocolate gold. Explain the importance of not talking to strangers.
The simple truths about the people they might know.
To stay in a group and to tell a guardian when something is strange.

Watch the children enjoy the night with our loving eyes. Listen to the excitement in their voice, imagine the smiles behind the disguise.

We were all kids once, leaves crunched under our shoes, we too braved the unpredictable weather. We made our way to the porch with a light, the doors of fright and delight.

Our youth still screams "Trick or Treat" despite are age. Some of us still enjoy trying to decide what clever costume to where. Which prank to pull or person to scare.

Once we reach a certain age we realize that we can buy our own candy. As much as we want, it's just not the same though. I don't sit in my recliner and eat candy and later think what did I wear. (Unless I leave a stain)

Whatever version or reason behind "Hallows Eve" it has transformed into something. If you think about it, this holiday is about fun, there is no pressure of the perfect gift. It's not just about love or religion really.

It's to share candy, dress up, to simply have fun!

Being a parent, a grandparent, a guardian, it is a different joy. We get witness the beauty of innocence, the variety of costumes. The contentment of the children after there done.

"Oh this one is my favorite."
"I'll trade you this one for that one."
"No way! You got one of those!"

We get to say to the kids, "Don't eat any until I've checked it first!" :)

Even though most kids sneak a piece or two. I did! I knew my parents would take out some of my favorite candy. Because it didn't look right?

That's strange, because when I looked it over the packaging was fine?

That is why I've enjoyed MJ being very young. We love to take a few pictures of her, and help her eat her candy. :)

She was a monkey her first year, a puppy last year. This year we let her pick out her own costume. MJ picked one off a kids show she watches, I will give you a hint.

It's yellow and has a funny tail.

Don't worry I will post some pictures of her on Halloween night.

This time of the year holds memories from our past, it allows us to share them with others. To be a kid, to feel the season. It leads us to tomorrows happiness, so that they too become wonderful memories.

After reading this entry feel free to share any memory that comes to your mind.

I just have one wish for those who celebrate this holiday, please be safe and have fun!

Thanks for stopping by.

Loren Wesley Ackerman

Friday, October 23, 2009

A Part-time Country

Thursday was a wet day! It rained before I left for town this morning, I'd say it was before 11:00. As I type now it's still lightly raining. Of course I didn't bring a coat or my hat. After minutes I was drenched, still I walked determined. I pressed on, I went business to business filling out applications, only to notice several other people in line. I'm not discouraged, I remain optimistic.

I've known for quite some time that our country has declined. I've known what job possibilities existed for the common person. I expected lines, what I wasn't prepared to see that I was the oldest one. Everyone was in their twenties and I just turned 32 years old this month.

I tell myself that thy will hire experience over youth. That they will smell desperation over the strong scent of spanish fly colognes. Who would you hire a married man in their thirties, a person with a toddler, or a unpredictable kid?

I've got my fingers crossed in my hunt for a descent job. It is slim out there, mostly part-time employment. I even called my previous Temporary Agency to get a feel of the place. After all it has only been 5 years since I dazzled them.

I started as temp some years back, then got kept over 77 other people on the job. I took every posted job on the company board. Shortly after I was hired on full-time, they liked my drive. They loved my work abilities, I started me on an assembly line. Within a couple months I was a tester-inspector, working on several computers at once.

I had no computer experience, but I was multitasking with several. To make this long story short, there was a shutdown at the plant. So, I wanted to work, they asked me if I would. I said yes! They offered me 2 positions, one being lawn maintenance, the other was cleaning. I decided on cleaning the place for a couple weeks, they loved it.

When the bosses returned, they asked me if I wanted to co to school for electronics or they would help me start my own cleaning business. I thought about it for a couple days, then I gave them my answer. I told them I've always desired to have my own business. I didn't care if it was cleaning, a business meant my wife and I could work together for real money.

The next year the plant closed due to millions lost. They wanted cheaper labor in Mexico, so they left Springfield. My wife and I were the last two people in the plant when we left.

I had my own small company, we felt proud of our accomplishments.

Life's what it is sometimes!

Currently we live in the present, the past is the past. The other day I decided to call the agency, to seek employment. I hoped that I was still in the computer system, I hoped that they would remember me.

The lady told me there was only part-time work to pursue. I mentioned my achievement of my proud past. She laughed, then spoke in a rude tone saying "People change!"
I tried to speak, but she said "I see your work record in front of me. It doesn't mean a thing to me.We go off your last 6 months of work. Illinois is at a fourteen percent unemployment rate and good luck."

I decided to keep my cool, even after she denied me respect. You see for the over last year I have been raising our daughter, while my wife worked construction. Her hours were 12 hours or more, six days a week. She made decent money, but now it's slowed down. Now it's my turn to work, to show them how much I loved them. To provide for them, to give Lisa back some of the time she lost with MJ.

I've discovered that people who make good decisions for a family can also be penalized. This kind of logic baffles me, how can loving parents be disrespected?

No worries! I still have the compassionate State Unemployment office to assist me for work! :)

I have respect for my fellow human beings, I recognize our struggles. For a couple decades now I've tried to put myself in others shoes. I have recognized the emotions as someone scanned my merchandise. When they preformed their tasks, I noticed. Then I remained courteous, for I've been there.

I noticed when I worked as a janitor several times, how society treats a human being.

What the world fails to recognize, it that life is similar to a Pogo stick. It goes up and down, it requires balance. We need to hold on with both hands, so we can stay on longer. Yes we will fall eventually and must get back up. That is all part of the living joys we endure.

I don't wish invoke pity by my words in this entry. Trust me when I say I know others feel this way, I know that many people have it worse. I've been a witness to America's tragedy for many years now. I've tumbled countless times in my short life, but find it hard to except the truths of my life.

I will try to understand how society allows powerful individuals to kick us down in every way they can. How big business manipulates our benefits by only offering Part-time work. How they encourage people to betray others to keep bread on the table.

It is very simple GREED! They know that we have families, that we need our measly paychecks to barely survive. History repeats itself, many times over. The Great depression lives on, instead of fruit, it is fast food. It is toilets, it is unsafe Chinese made products.

How can the country be in such a mess, but countless restaurant jobs exist? How can so many people afford to eat out, plus a tip. Consider the gas and time involved, it is a luxury to do so. It would be less expensive and less of a hassle to eat at home. I believe if people eat out more than a few times a week, it is due to laziness. What do you think?

I can remember when you could actually talk to an owner of a company, when they would be willing to train a new hire. In my youth I could get a job before I finished the application. It was time when face to face meant something, a handshake meant something.

No, I'm not disillusioned, the world has always had liars and cheats. But, there was a time when hard work paid off. A time when people weren't just a number, like it has been for many years. Why do you think Temp Agency's came about? It was to pay Americans less money to do the same work as full-time employees. Then after a certain amount of time they could let you go, and bring in a new batch of suckers.

In the past we have heard that unemployment has went down, but that does not include people who have lost it. Struggling to provide for the family when it's gone. Forcing people to take what they can get, even if educated. Then there are people like me who have neglected to receive further education. People like me who have been stuck with a resume that consist of "demeaning jobs"

For those of us who have no choice, there are jobs that we will most likely be looked over. Jobs that we are too qualified for, or lack the proper education. Hey, there is the food industries, factories, Hotels, and gas stations.

Don't get me wrong I've seemingly lucked out in the past. I remain very optimistic for my family that I will find my place. I continue to keep hope for society, that one day very soon we will overcome the greed of our world. It will take time for our country to be a world leader in jobs creation, but the amount is unknown.

Until then we must work together! We must stay realistically positive, despite the fact that most of us are starting over. That we lack proper health care, but must stay strong.

Struggle knows no age, it touches the majority of this beautiful Earth.
Without it there would be no real lessons in life.

I thank you for stopping by my place. I wish you all a kind Friday and pleasant Weekend.

Loren Wesley Ackerman & Family

Tuesday, October 13, 2009

No Buts About It

Insomnia is a brutal thing, a bittersweet ailment. They say that we sleep most of our life away, but not an insomniac. We survive on the bare minimum, a couple hours in the morning, sometimes only minutes. The years pass, daily tasks lag. In my youth I was lightening, sleep was seldom. The years passed and I became thunder, functioning within a system.

They say we spend a bulk of our life on the toilet, thank goodness I don't have severe constipation. Insomnia can be like a mental constipation or like an emotional diarrhea. But, it all depends on the person.

The more the time ticks we as individuals can feel wiped out. Little pieces of our soul stick in the cross hairs of life. It is important not to let negative vibrations crack our spirits. We must go with flow, blow with the winds my friends. I guess this entries moral was even though life can stink, it can also be a gas,gas,gas!

Gotta go,

Saturday, October 10, 2009

Truth Tells No Lies

In the current state of this nation, we struggle. Pinching pennies and eating in unhealthy ways. Sacrificing on expenses, some that we should not have too. Like going to the dentist and fixing the second car. As if we had the money to do either. Like most of the country, we barely have a pot to piss in.

For example the other day I made a big batch of beans and weenies, thinking we could make a few meals out of it. On the second day I noticed thick black pepper in it, then I thought about it. I didn't put pepper in it!

It was the black coating from the pan, a pan I have only used a couple times. After my discovery I suggested my family not to eat it. Since I had ate half a bowl, I finished it anyway. It's now days later and I'm still alive.

We go nowhere, we mainly do things together at home. Both cars have over 250,000 miles on them and only one starts up without a jump. My wife is very worried about the state of things. Over the years we have struggled countless times. The difference was we had no child.

To be truthful I'm worried too, I just bought groceries with change. (Bread,Eggs, and more hot dogs.)

I know the world suffers, people in my state share the same menu. So, believe when I say I'm not complaining, only worried. Construction has been slow, causing her to draw unemployment. It will most likely run out before they sign an extension. Forcing me to take anything, any job this under qualified applicant can get.

We've done it before, we will do it again.

Our other worry is MJ, she requires patience, and understanding. We lack the proper finances to place in her good hands. We don't have many people who could watch her on a regular basis. We will most likely work opposite shifts, then take care of her.

Most families are forced to do so in this country. If only the elected officials could help the voters. The people who pay taxes and sacrifice so they can live without financial worries.

I bring these personal matters up because this is the story for millions of families. I don't wish for pity, or sage advice. If someone has advice, point your finger toward a decent job. One that will benefit my family, one I hope would not betray my soul. I've cleaned toilets, served food, I've even cut trees in my youth. (Storm damage for the city)

This from a man who has helped save the California Red Woods. :)

For the longest time now I can't tell the difference between a Monday and a Friday. They are the same for me, other than trash is taken out on Mondays.

I know in my heart that things will get better in time. We must remain optimistic in the madness of life. "Zorbo" once said that a man needs a little madness in life.

I believe that no matter our song we must dance to the beat. Might it be defeat or our own victories. Like fruit it can be sour, it can be sweet.

I think too much about the troubles of the world, when I must stay focused on my family. There will be a time for my soul to feel free,when I don't feel ashamed. One day I will forgive myself for the choices I've made. My hope is that my family will forgive me for our struggles. For the time I've dreamed of better, when I should have taken feces from evil people.

In the real world employers are greedy. They don't recognize right from wrong, they don't appreciate positive suggestions. They wish us to break our backs while they make the big bucks. "It's my way or the highway!"

I have met many wonderful people on the computer. People who have earned an education, a place in life. Doing jobs that they chose to do, gaining respect in their field. Benefiting in so many ways, educating by example.

I've met people who have a beautiful homes, pieces of land. People who help animals , a retired actor, other writers. Many people who have inspired me to keep writing, to keep on dreaming. I love everyone for that! I love to hear about traveling,family, books being read.

More importantly their thoughts and opinions.

When a person opens up they allow the whole world in. We can obtain a better understanding of our fellow man. We can love our brothers and sisters of this Earth.

We love by listening.
We love by understanding.
We love by sharing.

I simply speak with honesty.
I believe that truth can sometimes set you free.
I speak with admiration, appreciation, and with affection.
May all your lives be what you wish it to be!

Wes Ackerman

Thursday, October 1, 2009

A Road Without Traffic

The Autumn rain falls outside the window, it gently drops. The trees whisper in the slight wind, almost dancing. They dance for the evening, rather the early morning. They softly shake their leaves before they tumble to the ground. I do not hear a car on the quiet road. No coyotes tonight, not even the friendly owl?

Now, our friend a Mourning Dove sings her beautiful songs to the distant train. I've known her since my early years, it has been since Junior High school. We have shared many mornings and many moons. Countless Seasons, she has been there for my soul. For this I thank her daily, after all I will soon be 32 years old.

Birdie has been around for many hardships and may blessings. When I switched from drawing to writing, she was there. When I've had to carry loved ones coffins, she has been there. When Lisa carried MJ, she cooed sweet songs to our fantastic fetus.

MJ greets her like family in the morning, she coos songs right along with her.

Birdie is a blessing to my family, she is a joy to know. Speaking without words, but reaches our hearts.

I write about what I know in my life. What I can feel and see. Right now I hear her singing to me.

My family is a blessing, they keep my spirit in a good place. Creating important adventures, taking me to places I've never been. Wonderful places in my heart, an important destination. My genuine happy place, a location I gladly call home.

Granted I stumble on my emotions, I get stuck in memories muck. There is an expression that suggest that we get our hands dirty or another about our feet getting wet. How about the heart or the mind, they too get dirty.

Our eyes can shine, they too are wet. A smile can raise our cheeks, as easy as sadness can cause leaks. Life provides growth! After all every garden needs rain to become fruitful.

What I'm trying to say is that a Happy place is not constant, we are human beings. We struggle internally with our conscience, then with Humankind. We sleep,eat,work, and play. Wake up, defecate, and simply be.

Life and death have no manuals, still many try to go by the book. I believe people are different, with similar traits. Similar tastes with common thinking. You notice I did not say common sense, for if this was true, the world would be our happy place.

I may seem like I'm blowing all over this web page, I'm merely trying to make a point. Trying to help those who feel like me sometimes.

When time catches up to me, or life seems bittersweet. I notice my surroundings, I listen to my own voice. This morning I heard the soft rain, I smelled the Autumn scents.

The smell of the rain, blew in with the gentle wind. I watched my family sleep peacefully to the sound of Birdies beak.

My mind was clear, it merged with nature. I rolled around in the leaves, I became the air in the wind. Again, residing at a happy place. It puts a smile on my face to sit by a window and hear no traffic. One of the luxuries to living on the outside of a small town.

My advice to those who feel as Blue as I did yesterday, give yourself a quiet moment. If possible block the traffic that congests your mind, that clogs your heart. Try to silence it's noise, try to listen to your joy.

If even for an instant, find your happy place.


Our Birdie sings.
Life dings, it stings.
People, places, and things.
Don't be bound, cut your strings.
Become the wind, or sprout some wings.
After all who knows what tomorrow brings.

Peace & Love
Loren Wesley Ackerman

Thursday, September 24, 2009

Take It Or Leave It.

Summer has turned into Autumn now, the Robins are gone. The leaves have started to fall to earth's floor. The temperature has been in the Eighties in the day and cool at night. The butterflies linger, sticking to the withering flowers. Soon the lucky ones will journey elsewhere in flight. The bee's devour the pollen that remains, the beetles find a way inside our domains.

The seasons are passing, the time is fleeting. We will loose the minutes of the evening daylight with each new day. This process is necessary, our Earths orbit, merely completing a cycle for life.

This time of the year has been troublesome for me, it brings me personal growth. In years past I've let the season defeat my happiness. I've let the memories of my loved ones bring my spirits down like the falling leaves. My mistake was to dwell on their passing, I have not moved on. I've tried to live life for them and not me.

This year will be different, I will enjoy the little things. I will be strong for my family, we will have a happy harvest in memories. I'm looking forward to wearing a costume again. As parents we will be giddy taking MJ out for Halloween. Lisa and I will enjoy some Autumn walks under the changing leaves.

Now that Fall is here, we can pull the sweaters out of the closet. (If we can still fit in them?)

Typically we have more fires for wiener roasting, and marshmallows for Smores. For me there is the Spoon River Scenic Drive, a place where I get my Birthday pickled beets. I could go on about the many positives of the season, but will let you cherish your own.

Feel free to name a few, I will gladly listen to your loves in life.

I was going to write about the Summers passing, about all the things I'll miss. About garden tomatoes and swimming pools. About the evening sky and fireworks. I didn't feel the need, I wish to think about the present. I will look forward to our near future, even when it turns to cold again.

You see Summer is fleeting, like our lives. The difference is the seasons return unlike our youth. If we get stuck in mind fields of our past, time will pass ever so fast. We must not dread change, it arrives like Autumn. There will be rain, there will be wind. Yes, it can blow in all directions.

Before the season turns again we will witness many colors. My advice for those who dwell on age, for the ones who choose not to see the colors. Your heart is not colorblind, only human.

In Autumn the leaves naturally fall, so rake a pile or two. After you make a few, jump in one. Be the kid at heart you know you are, have some fun!

The more I type I realize this entry was more for me, but if it helped you, Great!

I will take this time to thank you for stopping by my place. May Autumn be a Harvest of memories for you as well.

Peace & Love
Loren Wesley Ackerman

Thursday, September 17, 2009

Good Conduct Mustn't Be Stealth

I just finished watching the "New York Philharmonic Opening Night Gala Concert" it's 168TH. It Had Soprano Rena Fleming and it was a delight to watch. The very funny Alec Baldwin was interviewing and with much poise.

I bring this up because I love most music, at least one song in each style. To me music is a gift to our souls. I love watching the Symphony Orchestra perform together, with its strings,brass,wood winds, and percussion's. The conductor is indeed the maestro, but if the people preforming know the music, they could be obsolete.

Still, I respect the conductor and feel they keep the Orchestra in harmony.

Have you ever watched the movement of the music, the passion from the people? It is a musical masterpiece to witness. A pleasure to hear the sweet sounds of teamwork.

Maybe one might prefer the strings over the brass, or the percussion. Some might choose the wood winds, no matter your preferred instruments, together they make the orchestra.

Why can't society mimic this artistic beauty? Why does Politics contradict it's true purpose and function in the opposite manner? I would think that our founders would want it to be similar to a Symphony Orchestra.

If you believe in a God above, would he wish us to be more like one?

Instead of playing the strings, both sides pull on them. Pulling so hard that they break during the performance. Our elected civil servants were chosen to play their part, not distort the sound. Beating down the hopes of a desperate society, drowning out the sounds of decency. Instead of beating the drums, they beat each other down, they deny the audience genuine human satisfaction.

We pay taxes, if you will allow me to say our admission. Our ticket to the performance of American life. We pay our whole lives only to witness our elected leaders perform poorly. Working against each other, pulling the fear strings. Manipulating the informational keys, pitting us against each other.

Forgive me if I'm incorrect to state that we deserve respect and consideration. That our Elected President deserves to be treated with patience and respect as well.

We the People deserve the opportunity of a healthier life. I'm talking about affordable health care and a cleaner planet.

With this nonexistent bipartisanship and continual tug of war, we the world will suffer. We have endured many hardships throughout history. The last decade alone has set our future decades back, if we indeed have a future.

I remain optimistic for our children, but will always be a realistic person. Enough with the health care smokescreen, pass it already!

Let us work together as people, as politicians! If we wish to have a future we must move on to the next humane issue. We must focus on the environment, without a healthy one, life is pointless. Jobs are meaningless, unless you want to merely pay the bills. Buy a big fancy house, a car for a road to nowhere. A path to endless desert, a future without hope.

Why can't the Republicans admit they are what they are?

Why can't the Democrat's pass a good bill, when they control most of the legislation?

I'll tell you why, politicians are mostly wolves in sheep's clothing. Say anything to get elected humans, hiding in the cloaks of sheep.

Mankind acts as if they want all that is good. "In the name of God" Christian folks simply wish for gods plan to be true. When human actions prove mankind's truth, that fear is the fire that fuels the pits of hate. Fear prevents good people from accomplishing great things.

Let me ask the moral majority a question! Where were you when Bush was "In Charge"? Where was your protest when United States Soldiers dropped like flies? Where was your outcry when thousands of innocent civilians perished in the desert? (By the way, the War continues on! God's Children still spill innocent blood overseas.)

But here is a group of people shouting about money and a President destroying a great nation.

Where were you when Government stole our countries finances for WAR? It is our right to stand up to the leaders of our country, it is our right to believe what we want.

So, continue on with the fight to deny unfortunate families the chance to afford health care. Go forward with false information and harsh judgement. March on to Washington! Scream at the man who tries, the President who attempts fix the last eight years of greed.

Equal rights doesn't mean that a select few can have their way. It doesn't mean we should decide who gets married or gets a job first. It means we should be color blind, we should not see sex. We should see Mankind for what it is and accept our way of life. We are human, not Gods.

Go ahead and shout it, spread it, print it, and broadcast your deceptions. Spread your distorted interpretations to the masses. I still believe that the majority can see the truth. That we can decide our future, by means of working together.

Most will say I'm wrong, most will say wake the hell up! Guess what I am! I feel that mankind has the capability to preform well together. We can make powerful music together, like an Symphony Orchestra. It will take patience and practice. When we work together we will break a few strings, but we are human.

I have more faith in myself than in Elected officials. Maybe I'm incorrect in my logic, I wish one day that politicians will conduct themselves like in an orchestra.

At the very least, respect the conductor. I mean until they harmonize and play well with each other, or compliment the process. We need a leader to lead, to conduct this country. To compose a sympathetic symphony and with compassion.

With all that is going on in the news.The protests and outburst's, we should work as one. There should be a nation that respects the promise of betterment. Wishes for affordability and well health. I regret to say that we live in a corrupted and stingy fearful world. A life built on manipulation and lies.

I don't blame people for distrusting big business and most government. But see the insanity in the recent uprisings. That goes for all parties, I mean we allowed Government to destroy the World for 8 years. Then came President Obama, a man elected by the people.

This man took over a sinking ship called the United States of America. A Titanic task for any man to bare! History has shown that in crisis panic does not help.

It may seem like we lack sufficient life boats right now, but together we can weld the leaks. When society separates themselves by class it sinks. When worries of money outweigh decency and the well being of the future of our children, life fails.

The time is now to provide affordable health care! We mustn't place bubblegum on the leak. If we continue on the last Presidents course, we will hit more icebergs.

I firmly believe that the musicians do not have to play on a sinking ship. We can all survive, more than just head above water.

Give President Obama a chance to lead us, at least for one term! Bush was handed two terms? Two chances! (I'm still scratching my head)

In the name of Peace and Love let us hear the tune of progress. Allow the country to truly heal from past mistakes. Give us the opportunity to treat the wounds that plague our lives.


Loren Wesley Ackerman

Saturday, August 29, 2009

Get Your Popcorn, Right here!

With all that is going on in the world, we continue. As I press the keys, I listen to the coyotes howl and an owl hoot outside my windows.

I try to keep my thoughts organized, or in my head.

Most of us try to move forward and make the best of life, others choose to be careless.I know many people who don't have a mind of their own, they follow the leader. As if most of the so called leaders know what to do, let alone lead.

What I'm referring to is political leaders, news leaders, the decision makes. The ones who decided and decide what we should believe today. The corporate scoundrels of our lives.

Take Fox News, they claim to be the most watched? Maybe they are and maybe the sheep zombies follow. I know a good number of people who swear it's the complete truth.

When I know other wise, for example they call the media a "Liberal Media"? Why is it called that when for almost a decade it was manipulated by the last administration?

For those who don't believe me or don't remember, come on over to my house. We can watch thousands of hours of news footage. From all news networks, local to the major network's. I'll pop the popcorn, while your head explode from the truth.

It will be like that scene in "Clockwork Orange" but without the straps and eye braces.

You might ask me why, or how thousands of hours. It's simple, I put a tape in when I left the house. This went on for years, because I needed research for an Idea. It became so crazy from the ever changing facts and misinformation. That I halted my project, the TV was an insane asylum.

Does anybody remember the terror alert, Jessica Lynch, the kid arrested for a Peace shirt? Senator Daschle's comment that made him go away. Howard Dean's scream or what the Administration did for eight years?

I could write a song that even Billy Joel would be proud, so I will leave it to your memories.

I possess tapes from the 2000 debates to the Obama administration.
So, I feel I can safely say I know more than most people. You see I combined Newspapers, magazines, all news channels,and some words from politicians themselves.

Nothing added up, other than it was a waste of my time. The good thing is I can use the news for over a decade to back my thoughts up. My mouth at the very least, so bring it!

Then I have common sense and don't follow the sheep headers of the world. My own family are sheep because of Fox news. If I've been one, it's been a black sheep.

Bush supporters complain about life now, they bash Obama and the Democrats. When they had Reagan,Bush Sr., and G.W. Bush. Way to go America! To be fair We must point the finger at democrats too. They allowed it to happen, even if control was lacking.

I watched some news about Ted Kennedy on all channels the other day. Yes, CNN and some other channels praised him. They recalled the good things that he did, but brought up the question of health care. Asking if his death will effect it's fate, and some people responded. Fox News seemed heartless with coverage. Host and guest attacked politely, raising few good facts. Giraldo spoke the kindest words of what I watched, (Mr. Sandman} himself thought decent of the man! In the background, Bill O looked angry about hearing it on his show.

I support it and feel it is needed for our country. Most of us pay taxes and slave our lives away. Our friends and families pay taxes and the government has put it where they wanted. Things like war and for personal gains.

My thought is why not? A major illness or an injury can destroy a family. It could take years to pay it off, because employers have not truly cared. Pharmaceutical companies and Hospitals haven't cared. If they did, then why so much debt? Other countries use it and it works.

"Waiting in line like the Post Office."
At least people who need care will finally get it.

I don't believe the American people don't want this. There are more poor than rich, there are more sick than healthy. It's the powers that be, that manipulate the system, persuade the sheep.

Politicians say they cared about Ted Kennedy and that they are sad for his passing. Then go on to say that there must be a compromise with health care. They say they care about the American people and just don't want break the country.

What the hell are they talking about? What did the last President do and what did they do to stop it?

Nothing! They gave themselves pay raises and helped scare the hell out of the country. Misinformation and fear tactics is what they spoke about. They attacked people who spoke against the war. They took out anybody who got it the way, so they could get their way.

Don't believe me, the popcorn's popping.

Even democrats contributed to the lies and helped spread the fear.

It is the victors who write in the History books. It is the winners who alter our lives. The true losers of the political game are the people. We the people continue to struggle unhealthy and hungry. While they get the best health care and we pay for their good lives.

In regards to Ted Kennedy, he did some good things for the world.He helped shape some good Ideas, but he was FLAWED.

Politicians can do wonderful things for the world. But, spend most of their time bickering. Blaming one's party, when it's Mankind that represents it.

I'm sick of people saying that they care about the man. Then go on to say they hope that this togetherness will carry over. That each side wants to make a difference for the people, but does nothing about it. They will have their vacation that we pay for. They will continue to live a high life, while many suffer.

It should have been a done deal already!

Now, we mourn a good leader's death and the Parties will cry. Most of them for their own mortality, not his passing. They will spend the time golfing and fine dining until they go back to work. Meanwhile, the majority of the country struggles to provide healthy meals for family.

Some say that if people want it bad enough, they will get it. Then what about the unhealthy, can they work to pay for medical bills if sick? Can the children live healthy lives if both parents work? It's another double edged sword, kids don't have the family support they need. They won't have the guidance or good health mentally.

Even when parents work, the bills don't get paid. Fine, get two jobs, feed kids junk food, and never be home.

It's a recipe for disaster!

Free health care will help ease the burdens of the American family.

I feel I've touched lightly on the reality of the American life. I rambled enough without much facts. You see this entry would take a decade to educate the general public with facts.

The sad thing is that most of we the people was living it, but not watching it. "Watch what they do, not what they say."

Back to the sheep, we must be individuals, not meat. If something is true, if something is right, then you support it. I know we have the right to our own opinions, and it's our leaders who decide. So, here's your chance to be herders. It's time to demand that our civil sheep move forward.

For the sake of the future and our children, please speak your own minds. Please listen to your own heart and souls voice. It is not too late in life to be free.

If you can't see the logic in my words,or remember the misinformation. Bring the deepest popcorn bowl you can find over to my couch. The popcorn is ready!

Are you?

Before I end this entry I would like to send my love to the Kennedy family and his friends. I wish to give a hug to those who mourn the loss of Senator Edward Kennedy.

The man may no longer be in body, but his life's dreams and accomplishments will linger.

For those who mourn please remember it is to celebrate his life, not to swim in tears of sorrow. My heart will cry, yet my soul will smile.He feels no pain, he is now healthy. He is no longer a sheep, and no longer human.

Ted Kennedy is now free.

Loren Wesley Ackerman & Family

Thursday, August 20, 2009

Sundials and Fine Wine

The date is wrong on the photos? It was less than two weeks ago?

The Summer is swiftly turning into another Autumn. The time has been well spent, it may not be like Summers of the past. Maybe we didn't do the things that we wanted, but I'm sure we captured meaningful memories.

It's kind of like a Butterfly collection that we keep free. As they fly we can marvel at their beauty, at the flutter of flight. Landing on the colorful flowers in bloom. Both the butterfly and the flowers may soon be a memory. We mustn't fret, they will return.

Summers sun has not set just yet. The Summer heat will still linger, we will have more.

It is just me or does time gain speed the more aged we become?

Since we must age then let us age like a fine wine. Let the flavor of our lives be sweet. May time be kind, so that we will potent. Each day be a glass that is half full and delicious.

I will spare the first time readers and admit I ramble. Even in metaphors, so I will get to the point already! :)

My Mom returned from Ontario for another visit. It was a typical visit, she enjoyed her grand kids. My Mom tried to see as much family as she could. Then made her way to Savanna, Georgia. That is where my Grandparents reside, her parents. I went there a few years back, it was beautiful.

My daughter Malayna and I was going to go with my family, but could not. My Mom took my sister Melissa with her. My Nieces went as well, it would have been a memorable trip. I'm partly glad we decided not to go. There was some good ole family friction during the trip. I won't get into the details, but will say it was a FAMILY vacation.

They made it to Florida to see my Uncle and went to some beaches. All and all they had a good time. The down side was that MJ barely saw my Mom. We had a couple discussions about quality time and such. So, she stayed a couple extra days to visit with us. I wished I could say it went splendidly, if I did I'd be lying.

We did make it to New Salem State Park. It is only Ten minutes away, and it has a decent playground. We walked the trails and visited the village. It is a replica of the time Abe Lincoln was there. In September they have a Bluegrass festival on the main stage. During the day hundreds of people sit on hay stacks, they pick and grin till dark. It is a good time, if your in the area, check it out.

Some of the photos you will see are from there.

The last two days was OK, we had good visits. I was pleased to see MJ smile with her Grandma Myra. If I could do it over again, I would be more understanding. I would just keep quit, smile more.

I love you Mom and we miss you!

Has anybody ever noticed that most family members are set in their ways. Simple conversation evolves into complex communication. It may be a news story or an opinion, it will be ignored. Why do people want to complain about life, instead of enjoying it?

I try my best to get along with others, even if we don't see eye to eye. I'm friends with all walks of life, even friendly with my enemy. Will I cater to negativity, NO! But I will help those who truly want help. Most of the time, my mind is my worst enemy. My heart is by guide in life and my soul is my best friend. Sometimes the three quarrel, creating an emotional reaction.

Uncertainty engulfs my intuition, so much that its gluttony fills my guts. In the heat of the moment, my common sense is lost. It could be in the gutter, maybe it stands beside my street smarts. Perhaps it is Major brain fart, one that chokes the heart. Thank goodness for our souls ability to recover, to survive in life.

I feel like I've spoke enough from my heart and will move on.

Other than the visit, we have been cooking some good stuff on the grill. Once I've finished my cook book I will share. I will say that I've used lots of garden vegetables! I can't give most of them away, let alone cook them all. I think I will have to can some this year, or buy a dehydrator.

Egg plant,zucchini,squash,tomatoes,cucumbers,sweet corn, and peppers. OH MY!

If you wish to read what I write about the meteor shower. Then check out "A Poet's Travels" it is one of my other blogs. Just go to my profile and click it, or type

I will be writing that poem soon, until then enjoy the poems written.

I can see out my windows that we are going to get hit by another thunderstorm. So, I must cut this short. Before I go, I wish to express my love to the families hit by the tornado nearby.It happened in Williamsville, Ill, it is only a few miles away from us. Some people lost homes and were injured. Businesses were destroyed, the good news, NO DEATHS! (I heard on the TV that is was a tornado or hurricane force winds?)

Speaking of hurricanes, I hope those impacted will be OK.

As I stated we still have the Summers sun, with it the Summer rain. May your remaining days of the season be enriched with love. May they bring you a cool soft breeze and happy memories.

I thank you for stopping by place again.

Feel free to stop by any time my fellow Lifers.

Loren Wesley Ackerman & Family

Tuesday, August 4, 2009

Life's What It Is Somtimes

Happy Birthday to LWIIS!

8/04/08 to 8/04/09

I could win a staring contest against my computer screen. The last few days have melted into each other, like ice in my drink. I try to come up with something witty to say, but end up with my foot in my mouth. I guess my heart has a foot fetish. :)

Here is a joke: How do you know your getting older?
When you no longer have a good side.


I can't help but get caught up in the politics of life. You see I have decent memory of the last decade or so. When Bill Clinton took over we were in a deficit, then he pulled us out of the fiscal quicksand. Then came a Blow job, it wasn't right, nor was it illegal. He betrayed his family, not the country. Then came Ken Starr and the powers that preached. They spoke of truth and adultery, when a handful of them did the same. They lied about it too, that was until the press exposed it. After the so called IMPEACHMENT, came the bill. They spent millions on the investigation, and claimed that Bush inherited a HUGE deficit?

When the People were robbed of a fair election and were force fed manure, we received G.W. Bush. The man lacked the skills and integrity of past Presidents. The man lacked the know how of many other Republican leaders, like Roosevelt and Lincoln. It is who you know in the world, when you want to get ahead in life. It sure doesn't hurt to have many political leaders on your side, all of them with pre designed plans.

Does anybody remember what Bush said in the debates of 2000? The man spelled it out, loud and clear. When he discussed military build up and dealing with the Middle east. When I heard this, I asked myself how can he accomplish these goals. I was stumped at the time, I thought to myself, only if you could rally the majority of Americans to go back there. There were many hints in his speeches that screamed tragedy.

I'm not bringing him up to bash him, only to make a couple points. After 911 happened, he spent billions for the sake of FREEDOM. The man broke constitutional laws, when he could not rewrite them. His administration would not testify under oath, nor would he? Encouraged illegal wire tapping and torture. I was once targeted by Government, by use of illegal wire tapping and have the tapes to prove it! Yes, I recorded the entire conversation. It is a long story and I fear I've said to much. :) ( True story)

His administration destroyed this country in many ways, in ways that will take decades to repair. They contributed to catastrophic destruction across the globe. Manipulated the media, like never before. It bothers me when I hear current lawmakers speak about spending and when the media caters to the Obama haters. Like I said, it will take decades to begin the repairs, let alone make major head way.

I was once a harsh critic of President Obama, I preferred a certain Dennis from Ohio. Only because I had the honor of meeting then Senator Obama, plus asking him a question about the environment. In his own words "a three fer" I was not satisfied. The bill involved McCain and Lieberman. Imagine that? My question was not truly recognized by the public or the press. President Obama did his best, considering my question was a jab at the media, Government, and specifically politicians.

Back to my typical style of ramble writing, my point in hand. I heard the other day, that his popularity in the polls is at 50 percent? How could this be, it took Bush much longer? How can a regime as heartless as the Bush administration had a higher percentage? I mean President Obama has not been in office a year yet.

Cut the man some slack already!

Get off his back about Birth certificates, he would have proved it before running for President. If you want to point out illegalities, how did Dick Cheney become Vice-president then? He magically got his residency altered over night, Bush and him both lived in Texas. It was because it is who you know in life. The average American never receives a speedy process when it comes to important paperwork, especially by Government.

I have a little trivia question for you. How many years or Presidential Administrations have Cheney, Rumsfeld, and Bush Sr. been involved? The truth will blow your minds. After you find that out, look real hard on what they truly accomplished. Look at the deficits and hardships they left behind. I can say this about many political figures in history, but feel humanity has been affected by these people dramatically. At least responsible for Texas manure that has covered Main Street and Wall Street.

If we wish for the current President to succeed, we must help clear the stink. We must work as one, without hidden agendas. I'm not saying we allow any more leaders to write blank checks, but make sure it is spent for the greater good. Not just on vacationing politicians, on people who bicker over everything. Getting pay raises to do nothing and spend their careers denying the people a fair shake.

Has any body told us where the trillions of dollars that the Bush Administration spent really went? To protect our freedom, for the war. Then why did it take so long for the troops to receive proper equipment and supplies? Where did all the money that those contractors received go? Where did all the gold that was found in the war go?

How much money did the oil companies make off us hard working Americans, when we supported our troops? How much money did the major Corporations receive from the Bush administration? How much money did the Air Lines get wen bush was president? How much money did the Bush administration gain from their decisions?

I merely bring these questions up, because I'm sick of hearing people talk about Presidential spending. When in the past it was not even a worry for the controlling majority, or the Bush Supporters. It was not a concern to the people who gained from destruction of this once beautiful land of the free.

If all people can do is spread hate and negativity, then shut the hell up. Get a life, find a real reason to dislike a person. I have always said "I can at least find one good thing about every person." Think about it, even the worst people have at least taught a lesson or two.

We must love our fellow man, but that does not mean we have to agree. I have always looked at life in terms of Right or Wrong! I may not have always been in the right, but have known my wrongs.

I suggest we try our best to keep our heads above the manure.
My motto is: If there's manure, then lets put into the garden.

Why I say this is, after time we will share the bounties of our labor. Together we will sow the seeds of hope. We will harvest the love that provides the promise of our children's future.

Once again, I thank you for stopping by my place. In the year I have been blogging on the computer, I have met some amazing people. We have all shared moments that have changed our lives. Might it be a birth or a surgery, an election. A personal triumph or a tragedy, we were there. I know that many people have stopped knocking on my cyber door, and that's OK.

I will keep you in my heart always, I will be here for you when you need me. Just drop me a line and I will respond. I know I have not been knocking on many doors myself, I feel like a stranger these days. Every since I've joined Face Book, I've neglected my friends. Not because I'm lazy, or that I don't care. It's just life's what it is sometimes and I'm lost right now.

When I started to blog, my wish was to teach, not preach! I fear my heart has altered my speech, my mind has left me in breach. My broken sentences and dyslexic writing has allowed academic minds to drift away. I decided to do it anyway, I overcame my fear of rejection from others.

I would be a liar, if I were to say I don't care. Because I love you all for who you are, even if you became just a memory to me.

I'm struggling to be myself, the weight is bearing down. I'm just looking for a place that I can lay my head. I sincerely require realities paradise, not just a farm, A Mob,a job, or a huge bank account in cyberland.

I have some GREAT IDEAS to SHARE with ANYBODY WHO CARES. They are ideas that will require friends, and together we will all prosper. I will give you a hint, it involves a computer.

Ramble, ramble, ramble, Thanks!

Loren Wesley Ackerman & Family

Saturday, August 1, 2009

Dueling Summers

When I started this blog almost a year ago, I was lost. The story of my life it seems, it will be a year on August fourth. I had no followers, eventually one! Her name was Beth, she made me feel good. It started with a picture of an owl, then some simple conversation. I was introduced to some real nice folks and some unique blogs. Those people, those wonderful blogs helped me get through my fathers cancer. Blogging helped me cope with crisis and gave me some sanity.

I wish to thank you all for everything.

This time last year I was mostly alone, except my too busy wife and amazing daughter Malayna Jane. She is my sunshine, our heart song. I loved my wife before I met her, I was convinced even more, when I did. Time passed, we grew a little older. Entering new points in our lives, then we drifted apart. Like most couples, she found happiness with other people. Last summer she tried to leave me behind. If only I would have psychic, or she would have communicated her emotions to me.

I love her more than love itself and will for the remainder of my life. To me Alisa Kay will always be beautiful and amazing. I try to show it daily, but often fail. Still, I know in my heart I love her. I hope she knows I love her, differently, but even more today.

The past is the past, and time shows no mercy. It is to easy to let your heart be muted and your mind be isolated from reason. We must get passed our pain, our personal fears. It can seem like the walls of our spirit can collapse, almost crush us. I emphasis the word seem, we each have a powerful inner strength that can support our soul. Powerful, only if we wish it so. I am blessed to know my Daughter, MJ. Her innocence and pure love, can override most things.

The downside to that love is when we can't do what most families can. We may not get vacations, or financial security. We may never own a new car or our dream house. Make it to the place of paradise, and that is OK. I have hope that our goals will be met one day, that we will find our place in life. Until, then we will bask in the love we share. It may not be perfect, it may not always be sweet. And that's OK!

We have each other in this Mad Mad world.

I feel joy in the happiness of others. I love it when people have dreams come true, simple or large. My concern for those lucky people is that they realize it. I have no doubt they do. Especially the one's who need it the most. One of my many wishes is that a person who has nothing, will win the lottery next time.

In a perfect world, my wishes would come true.

Blog, blog, blog.............. At least it's not other peace entry. :)

Thanks for stopping by my place and have a good weekend.

Loren Wesley Ackerman & Family.

Monday, July 20, 2009

Onions In The Rough

When man first picked up a stone or used a fist, there was battle. Battle for simple survival, or individual gains. One does not know for certain, only God.

Throughout history there as been much bloodshed, enough to fill the seven seas. Abundantly so, that it would be a feat for Mosses to part Wars red sea.

I speak from the heart, clearly through the madness. I am a spiritual man, who can see past the fogs of war. Through the smoke and hot flames of hate and greed. My soul is like the wind, it is free. My soul is powerful, cool liquid, dampening the flames at my feet.

Have I served in the Military? No!
Have I been in war? Hell yes! For our existence on Earth is an every day war. Just pick your battle, and choose your weapon. Make sure to choose which one and what to use wisely.

My weapon of choice is my hands, I pick up my pen. To shield me from emotional reality's of this War On Our World. The theft of our children's future and the heist of their promise.

I may not have fought in Military war, but my ancestors have. Some right along General George Washington in the Revolutionary War. Many of my people fought against the Yankees in the Dakotas, the Wasichu (White Man) on their Native lands. Soldiers from the North and the South in the Civil War. Both World Wars and Korea. Then Vietnam, Desert Storm, and the Wars of today.

I often wonder how man can justify death, how death is more respected than life? Think about it, man is honored with a funeral, but not in the every day. Spat in the face, but mourned when the heart no longer beats.

The reasons for grievance seems obsolete. The human heart is powerful, but too often in the wrong place.

In my short life, I've watched our great nation stumble into the pits of desperation. Act like sheep and follow fools to the slaughter. I've heard wise advice echo in mind, like a sharp sound in the mountains. Bouncing of the sides and and escaping into the serenity of this world.

"Think before you speak!"
"Think before you act!"
"Treat others how you wish to be treated!"

Simple suggestions and sound advice. My heart has always told ME to LOVE THE EARTH!

When it comes to war, I do not covey cowardice. As I do not condone it's action. I do believe we should defend ourselves against injustice, we should look WRONG in its ugly face.

My heart wishes that we could find other ways to achieve peace. My mind says that we can, if we work together. My soul speaks loudly, it shouts to the world.

It sincerely says, "WAKE UP PEOPLE!" "STAND UP FOR SOMETHING That is TRUE!"

There are other ways than war, to protect our human freedoms. We must find other means, to obtain resolve.

Yes, sometimes Evil slaughters the innocent. It seemingly conquers the bodies of man, but not our spirit. We continue to advance in peaceful technologies and human kindness. Unfortunately world leaders seek financial superiority. They prefer dominance, instead of assistance. They eventually show their true intent, Mankind is poor and fearful, but not stupid.

In the age of media and reality TV, we should shine the light on the darkness. It's purpose should be to inform and assist the world. Not spread fear and promote hatred. It should not just be murder and mayhem, but it mostly is. It's primary message is "buy into this or buy this."

We our smarter than the wizards that pull the strings, cloaked behind greed's curtain.

It is a shame how man decides which genocide to attack, I mean people to defend. It is a travesty when Governments allow people to be dominated, raped and murdered by evil people. It is an awful way to govern, to protect selected people, and merely for national gains.

Where was the world when Rwanda needed it? Where was the world when Darfur needed it? I could go on and on with this point and can name many more places, but will leave that for you. It is never too late to help those in need, so feel free.

For those of you reading in The United States of America, we have injustice too. We live and breath it, if we like it or not! We allow corporations to poison and deprive our children. Allow them to deny good people human decency and a healthy world. How can corporations get away with genocide? How can they continue to steel hard earned money from average people? The answer is MONEY!

This to applies to the world and it is because of our world leaders. When politicians speak of change, it should not just be coins out of deep pockets. It should not be hate blasted miles away, killing civilians by way of rockets.

I want you to know, I criticize the leaders of our "Free World", not you! Let their actions be the monkey on their back.

I do ask you to please open your ears, eyes, and to speak from your heart as well.

Past world leaders and even most historians believe that every war was fought for a greater good. Usually fought for God and people. To ensure peace and prosperity, for Gods children.

Why is it Man hides behind the Creator, when there is human destruction? Why is it that when a catastrophic event occurs, man question s God? We as man have been handed the tools and given opportunities to defend ourselves against some disasters.

How about Hurricane Katrina, was it more God or Man? It is easier to blame the creator, rather than accept we are human. That our world leaders were more responsible. Many of those people did not have to die that day, but chose to stay put. We have the gift of Free Will and deny its purpose, we sometimes fail to know our time.

It is hard to be alive sometimes, to stay focused. There are more wrongs than rights in this beautiful world. It is our job to stay happy and sane.

What would the innocent say if they could still speak? What would your god say, or the Prince of Peace? What do you say about the way life is today? For just one moment, forget what Jesus would do.

What would you do? More importantly, what will you do?

My question to the world is, what do you say about the idea of Peace and Love?

For right and wrong, we continue to hate our enemy, because they hate us. Human nature has many qualities, like an onion. One can slice it with steal and sharp hunger, layer after layer. Discovering burning tears and more layers, it can be bitter and sweet. Eventually reaching its crisp center and finding the heart of the thing . That is when we find or ourselves no longer in the stew we call life.

We will be in a place where peace and love echo in all hearts. A majestic garden we will grow, we will share the land. There will be no silent slaughters by means of separation.

Until that day, we must protect the land of the living dead. We must plant the seeds of life and hope in out children's future. It is our responsibility to lead them to the path of Peace. To feed them the fruit from the gardens of good. To teach them to harvest hope together! Teach them to be a warrior when needed, but a farmer in life.

Together we can sow the seeds of Love.

Thank you for stopping by and listening to this redundant ramble of mine.

Blessed Be
Loren Wesley Ackerman

Monday, June 29, 2009

The Price Of War Is More Expensive Than The Ticket Home

The picture on the left is of "Doc Magoo" and he is my father. Donald Ackerman was just a young man when he enlisted. He started in the United States Naval Reserves, but he couldn't be in medical aspect of the service.

He then enlisted in the United States Army and trained to be a Medic. Arrived in Vietnam at the age of eighteen, he was just a kid. He received 3 Bronze Stars, one for valor. Was wounded 3 times and was given 3 purple hearts. He was also awarded a Silver Star by a General Zais. I posses the photograph with the general, I've seen the Medal growing up, now it is lost. He tried to replace it, but the paperwork no longer exist. He still has other medals and recognitions, but says the lives that he saved are more important!

I have had war on my mind for most of my life, but tried to live with peace. The first poem I ever wrote was titled Peace, and I was only 12 years old. I watch and read the news. I can here the complaints of the world and can drown most of them out. It's not that I don't care about most issues, rather I see through the smoke.

This issue is the most important right now, and next year we will bring back this one. That is just political manipulation at its weakest, playing with our emotions. Pitting us against each other, Rich verses Poor. Minority against non minorities, Republicans vs. Democrats! The same old song and dance, somebody saying they care and doing nothing.

Our Leaders find faults in a plan, criticizing rather than working in unity. I think I've made my point on the agenda of our political representatives. Fussing and fighting, blaming and shaming each other. The bottom line is We Our The People and without us, who would they be?

I feel strongly about many issues, but feel that after 911 we should have learned the truth. Why it happened, not just "The terrorists hate our freedom" attitude. Why we could not keep that (Idea) of unity, and the world working together. The real reason we went to war, not countless versions. It varied from our news outlets and political leaders. You have the right to believe what you want, and feel what you wish.

Plain and simple, the truth is the truth! Bush said that history will be in favor of this war and his leadership? I don't deny that Bin Laden was a Bad man or Saddam was evil. I don't doubt that we contributed to building of the "Freedom fighters" or helped Saddam achieve his power. Because we did, but that was when they were our friends. Think what you want about that statement, but people who watched the news in those times know of its truth. I know that September 11, 2001 was tragic! I cried like most of you, watching those people perish. Hearing the news throughout that day. Passing by my shocked coworkers, then the second plane! It was horrific to witness and is difficult to write about today.

I will not go into the details, because most of us will never forget that day. I will write about in the future, but not now.

What I feel compelled to mention is the costs of Afghanistan and Iraq wars. The costs emotionally and economically. The price that our world has paid with blood on the battlefield. Countless civilian lives have been lost in both countries. They have been victims of war, killed by bombs and by Man. The coalition forces and by small army's of their own people. Killed by misguided missiles and by bullets. In both wars there has been torture and lack of humane importance.

We went over to Afghanistan to find Bin laden and stop terrorism. How can you really stop terrorism? Go to war and kill the people we wish to protect? Support our troops, but give them limited resources. Go to Iraq, because Saddam attacked us? Free the the people only to harm them, and put them in harms way.

Just like Desert Storm, we can't leave? Violence has been in those deserts since before our country was born. Before our Freedom was penned on paper. The best we can do now is to really help them. When our troops pulled that statue down, we won the war. And had a banner to prove it!

What was the Bush administration thinking when we went to war. Then enter Iraq again, after the last time. It was to find Osama, it was to avenge our Nations lost. We lost a few thousand on that terrible day. Those people had families that will feel the full effects of 911, but war will not bring them back.

Now we have servicemen and women stuck in a war with no true meaning. I say that because most justifications have changed many times over. When it began, some were already enlisted. They had no choice in the matter, others were heavily Patriotic. True, red white and blue Americans. Defending our freedom from the evildoers, the violent killers.

Helping take down world leaders who were corrupt and did as they pleased. People who made their own laws and kept the country in fear. Fear and injustice, imprisoning who ever disagreed. Charging them as traitors and punishing them, sometimes by death. Regarding women as second class citizens and promoting violence if necessary.

It's ironic that we went there to assist oppressed people and eliminate criminal leaders. People who G.H.W bush, D. Rumsfeld, and DICK Cheney had political relationships with? At one time or another, wined and dined them. Trained the freedom fighters and provided the weapons. Who was once a Freedom fighter?

Then years later a Political nightmare occurs, the 2000 Election. Bush magically defeats Gore, and the world still says Bush won? Yes, with questionable assistance. I'm a political junkie, an watched the Red carpet debates in 2000. Bush said in a response that he wanted to build up the Military and deal with the Middle East. When he said something in those lines, my heart listened. Look what happened months later, he got his wish. Bigger military and back in the Middle East. Because of 911, he was able to do as he pleased. Damn near every stupid plan his party imagined.

I don't wish to discuss conspiracy theories, only the truth. The truth that we felt by common sense and emotions. By simply watching what is said and by our administrations actions. I tried to keep tabs on all the spending, it was too difficult to follow. Where it truly went and how much was approved. Just like with new one, we should always keep our eyes open. No matter the party affiliation, or the person.

I still believe that we should challenge President Obama on all the issues. The economy, Environmental concerns, these wars. I feel that is our duty to do so. We must respect him and give some patience in these matters. After all Bush did get elected a second time! Eight years of corruption and poor direction takes it's toll.

I passionately care about Our planet! Environmentally, but feel that we can persuade President Obama to end the wars. It would be easier to correct and swifter. I know without a planet there would be no life. But we are adding gasoline to the fires of hate, we are spending money we don't have. To keep our troops in harms way, for a war that now has no meaning.

Sending loved ones and children to fight for their survival. To keep their buddies alive, with the risk of causing emotional injury. An even greater risk of bodily injuries and death. And for what reasons? Many years from now, what will the history books teach their children?

Will their children be effected by the war as well? Can the soldiers live a life without memory and torment. Can they accept the reality of wartime actions without a legitimate justification for these wars. I wish their families and their souls a peaceful existence once they return. I will give them my respect and love.

I grew up with a father who was haunted by wartime actions. He tried his best to cope, he tried his best to be "normal". My father awoke afraid by the sound of a helicopter. He demanded we make no sound as we walked in the woods. "If you were in Vietnam, you would be shot!" I could mention more, but won't right now.

My point is that the best of men do the worst of things in battle. To protect themselves and their men. They go as boys and return as wounded men. Some choose to hide it, but the memories are there. The boy is still crying inside and all those around them are affected. I'm proud of my father, and feel blessed to be his son.

Just before he was diagnosed with cancer, he finally got help. He went to Chicago, Illinois to a place. It was a place for Veterans to get better, a place to let it all out. What he told the doctors there, I will never know in full. Part of me wants to know, but most of me doesn't. He always said when I reached a certain age, he would tell me most of it. When that moment arrives, I will listen. After he returned he was different. Different in a good way, he even started a journal.

When he was there he told me that some soldiers from Iraq had many problems too. That he made friends with them and tried to help them cope. It was then I realized that with all war comes injury. Think about all the veterans who now have brain injuries and lost limbs. Post traumatic stress syndrome (PTSS) and other mental pain. We must welcome these troops home and make sure that they know we still support them.

The Vietnam vets had no parade when they returned and were thought as "Baby Killers" and that's a damn shame. I believe that was the real spit in the face. The Vietnam Veterans lost 59,159 fellow soldiers, 1200 Americans reported killed in action. (No bodies) About 1,350 POWs' missing in action. I've met some of his buddies over the last couple years, they are good guys. I consider them my brothers too, we are all family in the struggles of life.

Wikipedia: 3-4 million Vietnamese on both sides perished. 1.5 million to 2 million Laotians and Cambodians died as well. The Vietnam war was a terrible action, it is considered a conflict to some. Wake up and smell the Napalm, it was a war! Growing up I thought it might have taught the United States an important lesson. Not to get involved into a long lasting war that we could not win.

I would like to get back to the discussion in hand. I feel that this war on terror can't be won, just like Vietnam. The longer we stay there, the more damage is done. The war has taken so many lives already. They are scattered and piled so high, we will never know the true number. The casualties are civilians, "the enemy", reporters,contractors, the Coalition Troops, and US soldiers.

Killed by weapons, accidents, illness, and by suicide. They all happened because of war! Because of past political decisions and the need to "Stay the course"

We The People have a new Leader now, so lets stand together. If you feel anything that I feel please join me in this cause! Help me end this WAR on terror! Help me bring our troops home! Let's work together and help President Obama make the CHANGES he promised!

Please let your State Senator know you care! Make your voice be heard on any issue. I'm going to write President Obama a long letter containing my beliefs on the issues that trouble me the most.

Feel free do what you think will help the troops get home. To stop the bloodshed that stains the streets and hearts of all people.

Here is just a few places I found on the computer that pertain to this entry. I started this entry for many reasons and hope you find it informing. When the It first started the Media covered the War on Terror heavily. We even color coded our levels of Terror. Back then we could keep track of our fallen soldiers by number.

If you wanted to know the extent of our losses and civilian deaths, then feel free. Beware the reports don't all match, but this will do for now. The numbers might shock you, like they did me.

iCasualties: Iraq Coalition Casualty Count - Iraqi Deaths

Cost of War on Terror-Homeland Security Market Research

Paul Rieckhoff: More soldiers Lost to Suicide than to Al Qaeda in January:

Iraq Veterans Storm the Hill

Thank you for stopping by.

Wes Ackerman