Tuesday, June 9, 2009

I Rant With Ants In My Pants

As I sit here and type, there are ANTS invading our apartment. They travel trough the kitchen, like heavy traffic. A seemingly endless trail, we have tried a commercial poison. With no result, after a couple Ideas off the Magical Internet. HA! Still no results, I will try something new tomorrow? I refuse to bomb the house, or use harsh chemicals!



We have a toddler in the house and an old bird. A morning dove, I've Had since the end of Junior High School. She is a blessing, we have shared many moments of our lives together. I love the sound of a Dove cooing in the house. She has been a great friend in this life, she sings a beautiful song to my heart.



I'm a little conflicted, I can still see "Antie" defending those poor kids shrunken in the backyard. :)



Anyhow, back to the Army of Ants. A bomb would do no good! Too many places to get in the apartment, plus I noticed over the winter no real insulation? I usually don't harm earth's creatures, but now they left me no choice. I will have to pull a Casper Van Dien on their little butts! Minus the poor acting, cheesy effects, and long screaming speeches.



We have been just getting by these days, trying to be a happy family. Cooking on the grill, watching some TV. Going to the park and what not. Making trips to the video store and picking some crappy movies. Lucked out on some good films, like "Last Chance Harvey" if you like Dustin Hoffman, please rent it!

I can't remember them all right now.



We might go to the Rt. 66 Drive In and go see that new Ben Stiller Film, the one with the Smithsonian. The later show will be The new Terminator film, or "Angels and Demons". I'm not sure which one for the second one, but do know MJ will love the first one! :)



I'm getting ready for a wedding Saturday, it's for an old friend. We haven't spoke much over the years, but talked for 3 hours the other day. It will be a good day to celebrate and see some old friend's. Finally a Wedding for once and not another funeral!



We both have many things in common, even a loss of our Older Brothers. His brother and I were good friends, I even spoke at his funeral. He still lives in the town where I had many problems growing up, a small town! A place where everybody knows everything about everybody. A gossip town, a place where my family was branded, therefore me. A place where the Police told me to stay out, so I did.



We can't change our past or our family. I was a fine young man once, then I gave into a false reputation. I became a punk, a person who rebelled against logic. I won't say I was innocent, but never got caught for what I did. Nothing serious, just kids stuff. You could say stupidity was my ruler, I wore a purposeless mask. Deep down I was still a decent human being, born in the wrong time. I lived in the wrong place, a town not worth mentioning.

I do regret not going to see him or his brother all those years. There was a moment, where stupidity was in control and they helped me. As long as I live, I will be forever grateful to them both.

I know I'm rambling about my past and leaving many details out. I do that for my own well being, you see I was young and foolish. What I can say is I loved the Idea of "My Name is Earl" for this very reason. The idea of making it up to the people you did wrong, Fantastic! I sometimes can't sleep because I know I was wrong. I wish I could do the same for those I've mistreated. Especially the one's who have now passed, the people I cared for deeply. One day I will write about these stupid things, one day we will cross paths. Then I can say I'm sorry! I just hope I can forgive myself.


If anybody is interested (MNIE) is now cancelled, but could be picked up on another network?

(The picture of my family and I on the top of this page) the one with my mustache. It was only grown for fun, just goofy humor for my wife. I don't have that (flavor saver )anymore!



FOOD! You perverts!



I know I don't post like I used to or drop lines much either. But, I'm still here. I could write countless entries, I could write one of many poems. Submit many of my short stories, but feel very human right now. Dealing with unexplainable emotions, I write constantly for myself. I feel stingy with my writing, like in my youth.



Like an oyster hiding a pearl. At the same time trapped like the pearl, inside a tight shell. Accumulating pearls for a beautiful necklace, strung together by my soul. One day, I hope to share its beauty with the world. Before it chokes me, or the weight drags me to the bottom of the sea?



These days it's hard to write here at LWIIS, being reminded by entries. Realizing that people must not get me, or care to know Wes the human.

Looking at "Wes Lassos Stork" I don't have the desire to erase it, but feel pain by it. I loved our lost child, I loved feeling the joy of Fatherhood! The trips to the Doctors office, the sonograms. The love my wife and I felt during her pregnancy.

I was born to be a father, this is one thing I'm certain of in my life. I love babies and children! They are the most amazing thing on this earth and I have been blessed for MJ! Malayna is so beautiful, like her mother. Her laugh penetrates all feelings. When I have to get on her, I try to keep a straight face. Even when she misbehaves she can be too damn cute. Sometimes Lisa and I turn our heads to smile at each other. Then work together to teach her well. Being a parent is tougher than most people think. Parents already know this, but people who are young and horny won't!

"Most people can have a kid, but can't always be a parent" I love this quote.

I don't really know where I'm going with this long winded speech about whatever is bouncing in my tired head? I could write about the news, a book I read. Very easily write about how WalMart has become "Big Brother" on censorship. (Specifically Cd's) How there is no real outlet for new musicians at Music stores. Most are closing because of places like Best Buy and WalMart. Yes the computer can be a good source, but how about just walking into a store. (Like how it used to be)

WARNING IF MY FAMILY IS READING THIS ENTRY PLEASE STOP HERE! I"M LOOPY AND MIGHT OFFEND SENSITIVE PEOPLE! Pleas have a great day to you all!



I could write about the TV, on how they brainwash people. Think about it, infomercials, they play on insecurities. From weight, hair loss, acne, even the size of the PENIS. Even if it's large, they could make a weak man think they should buy it. Because: "This could be fun"

They play with peoples minds, "Get Rich Quick" schemes? Sexy talk or text. Matchmaking ads and use the word HAPPINESS for food commercials? I could go on and on and on and on....... But I won't.

Yes I will! As long as you know It's all in good fun.

OK, they want us to keep our hair! Have clean skin and stay thin! Get rich and find real love! Talk dirty on the phone, by texting. Use one hand to type and the other play with Mr. Winkie or Mrs. Pinkie?

Buy decent life insurance, give money to God.

Keep calm! We must stay calm or buy into these miracle cures. Let's see stress can cause baldness, acne, overeating, impotence. The economy brings worry to most, so you better get rich now! Find your soul mate, even though the commercial says women only want Giant wiener's.

If your lonely call a model and text her, if your sad take pills that have several side effects. If your really unhappy, go to a buffet to find "Happiness" stuff yourself. So, then you can buy an exercise machine from the mighty Chuck Norris, or buy weight loss pills.

If you don't, you better have great life insurance. So, your family don't get stuck with the bills.

Don't worry, some of you have donated money to the TV Church. As the man said you have just bought your way into heaven.

As you surf the TV and can't sleep, just take a sleep aid you just saw on the tube. Buy a Fancy Bed, so you can jump on it and not spill a drop of wine on it.

If you can't find much on, turn it to the news. That will really relax you, right?

If you can't handle all this, then turn it to some "Reality Television"

I will stop here, I'm getting more loopy by the second! I could have said more, maybe I will continue this later?

I hope whoever reads this has a wonderful day!

P&L
Wes Ackerman

6 comments:

FrankandMary said...

I've read(& written) way loopier stuff. I get my ants onto a little piece of cardboard(put some food item on it)& carry them outside. Yeah, I'm weird like that.

Trying to be a happy family ~ Hey, at least you try, some seem to give up.

If we all wrote entries about the times stupidity or non-logic took over(or we let it take over) in our lives,we'd be typing all day(meaning, you ain't alone). Seems that you are NOW(which is the most important part) trying to be a good man, husband, Father.
~Mary

amandape said...

Ants! we are having that problem too. It would be different if you were in the woods with ant killer. But hese ants are in your house! Remember that!
I am currently trapping Cats that are taking dumps in my mulch and kids play areas. i warned all my neighbors . Nobody seems to want to claim the cats nor want to do anything about it.
When I left the small town I lived in, I went back years later for a festival. An grade school friend came up to me and was shocked b/c she heard that I was selling my body somewhere. WHAT???
No I was not selling my body. Someone told my dad he that they saw me buying crack in city near by. NOt true i was living in Three hours away at the time. And crack is not my thing. LOL
I will type more when My husband leaves. LOL He is having a a fit b/c he has to get ready for work and he is having to change a diaper. When do I get my break again????

Beth said...

Yikes, I hope you can figure out a safe way to get rid of your ants! Hey, I remember a friend telling me that her mom wipes the counters down with vinegar and lets it dry. Apparently ants don't like vinegar, so maybe you can give that a try.

Remember the Local H song "High Fiving MF"? I bought that CD at Walmart, got it home and played it...they'd taken out all the MFs and other words! I was appalled, and I've never bought another CD at Walmart. Down with censorship! Hugs, Beth

DB said...

Wes, I wish I had the courage to write an entry like this one. Maybe someday I'll break down my walls and do it. People don't like it when I write about trouble and strife. They either send me patronizing comments or they stop reading me.

Trapping the ants in the box sounds like a good humane idea. And maybe the vinegar works if you don't mind the smell yourself.

I don't even own a TV and when I did I was insulted by the slime, cotton candy, lab coat mentality of the junk I had to watch.

Things change, they only return in museums and family collections. Enjoy the wedding and try not to let people pass you by, I say. They will anyway,

Love and enjoy your family, Dad. I wish I had one.

DB

Bucko (a.k.a., Ken) said...

Hope you have a great time at the wedding and your past stays away :o)

We all have our skeletons and such, they come out a bone at a time :o)

DB said...

Wes I note that you lisr On The Road as one of your favorite books. I read that book in 1959 and I've never been the same since.

DB