Thursday, October 9, 2008

Love Rested In My Arms Tonight

As I type she is falling asleep in my arms, something MJ rarely does anymore. I cherish this moment, when she is still small enough to fit in my arms. Her blue eyes gazing at me with unconditional love. The way she looks at me will forever be in my heart and mind. Right now I'm taking a mental picture, that will remain in my soul.

I can see that she just fell into her slumber, but will continue to type with one finger for a little while longer. I'm amazed at a child's take on life, it seems so simple. Yet very complex, every second they learn something new, things that we take for granted. They look at everything in wonderment, unless it scares the poop out of them. Don't get me wrong as adults we still learn something new everyday, and we have eyes filled with wonderment.

The difference is we no longer see joy in almost everything, we have done did that, now let's move on! We get bored too easy, our attention spans can be like a small child's. We lose focus on mundane tasks, for we are thinking too much. Unlike a child, who doesn't think before they act sometimes. I mean think about, we are all born without fear, but when we mature over time we remember the pain. We remember regret, heartache, and mistakes. It is good that sometimes we learn from or mistakes, and other times it seems too late.

What I'm getting at is after each time we feel negative emotions, we hold back on our actions. I believe that fear should mean go! We should not cower by life handing us lemons, or by our lemon stained hands. We as a society make lemonade all the time, we are human. What I like to do is make lemon shake ups, screw the lemonade. I realize from my own life that overcoming fear, is easier said than done. In most cases it takes years to master the art of confidence. The actions of self help, or to simply laugh in the face of diversity.

Laughter can be the best medicine, and joy the best emotion in life. We all live separate lives, but link together as a chain. Look at these journals for example, people connecting from all over the world. A society becoming a cyber family, and people from all backgrounds conversing about many wonderful things. Sharing memories and current events. Driving our thoughts onto the "Information Super Highway", and for the most part I've seen no real cyber rage!

I would like to say that the people I have looked in on, and commented to are very special people! Don't worry I'm not going to get all "Stuart Smalley" on you, but would like you all to know that I feel blessed to have come across this path some call blogging. I feel blessed to finally be reading other peoples Art, yes to me it is Art! I don't care if you're reading a grocery list, and talking about nothing. To me it is Art, and there is no other way for me to call it. I feel blessed to be able to write again, and have others read it. (Aren't you glad I didn't say "Art" again!) Oops

I would like to take the time to mention Nutwood Junction, my Pal Beth has been an inspiration to write, and to let myself be free. Free enough to express the humor that has been "locked away, with crazy aunt in the attic." Ha ha

I bring her up, because for the longest time she was my only responder. She would set um up, and I would knock um down. (Vice verse)
I would like to let other people know that with the way my life is right now, I'll try my best to get to know you!

Before I forget, I would like to thank you for stopping by, and wishing my father and my family well! I wished I could say that he is getting better, but his fevers returned with his chills. The cause seems to from the experimental chemo treatments? We will find out more tomorrow, and hopefully my father will feel a little better. I have a super busy day, and am contemplating what to do first.

Sometimes I wish I could do what Michael Keaton's character did in "Multiplicity", but you can see how it turned out for him. "She touched" the over cloned one as well! I love that movie!
I'm already living the role in "Mr. Mom", minus a kid or too. I don't complain about it, at least not that often. Ha ha

I really feel for parent's who raise children by themselves, and wish them Lot's of hugs. I wish them the best of luck, and pray that they can take time to enjoy themselves! I mean I have to decompress and journal at odd hours. It is all good, for I am a partial insomniac. I've been one since the age of five, and with each year it got worse.

The only real cure was working myself to exhaustion, and pretty much passing out when I got home. I do miss working, and being a part of a team. I don't miss the bull of a boss telling me to do things backwards, and coworker gossip. I bring this up mainly because I received a letter in the mail saying I have an interview soon. It is the same line of work as my father and wife, a Construction Laborer. It is good money, but long hours! It is an apprenticeship program, therefore you can't refuse work, or skip anything. You have to go to classes, and meetings, no matter what!

I mainly signed up to make my dad happy, and to maybe make some real good money. But after seeing what the job has been doing to our family, and the way MJ is expressing sadness. I feel, now is not the best time to start such a demanding, and time consuming job. That maybe I should take an office job, or something that will allow me to be here for my daughter more. A job that won't have the word mandatory attached to it, in case I have to miss days due to my fathers illness. Maybe I'm wrong, all I know is I would like to get back to work, or go back to school.

I would like to say that my wife and I were able to lay together watching some of our favorite shows tonight. It was so awesome to be able to hold her, and laugh at "The Office", and SNL on Thursday! I made every second count, and didn't let anything get in the way of our love.

I had MJ locked away in the basement with "Sloth" and they were eating "Baby Ruth's" Ha ha

I held Lisa till she fell asleep in my arms, or about the time ER came on. I switched it back in forth to My Chicago Bulls preseason game against Dallas. They made a late comeback, and missed a shot that could put them within 2 points. The Mavericks made a three-pointer, and that was all she wrote.

I would have to say it was wonderful night, and say that I was blessed to have both of my loves fall asleep in my arms.

"Scrambled eggs all over my face. What is a boy to do. Good night, everybody."



Jamie said...

Goonies is one of my daughter's favorite movies. Well along with a hundred others she insists on watching over and over and over again. ;) It's fun to watch small children and that innocence you speak of. Watching them is one of my favorite things about being a parent. And the falling asleep in your arms is pretty awesome too. I never thought when I started my journal that I would meet the people that I have and it's been a wonderful surprise. It's great to be 100% yourself and have people love your craziness! ;)))
I'm glad to hear you had a good night. There's no way I'd be able to sleep while my husband watched any type of sports. The cursing would keep me up but that comes with him being a Cubs and Bears fan. ;)
I hope to hear your dad is doing better in the coming days. Maybe take him a favorite blanket from home if he's having the chills. Hospital blankets are thin and not that warm. The hospitals around here you have to ask a few times to get more.
And by the way, if I was having a girl (Shhhh some of the family doesn't know!) I would totally be stealing your daughter's name. I LOVE her name and have never heard it before finding you. If we have another one and it turns out to be a girl, I may still have to steal it. ;)

Beth said...

Wes, awwww, bless your heart. {{hugs}}

I'll continue to keep your pops in my thoughts and prayers.

Go with your heart about the job. If something doesn't feel right about it, take something that will maintain a balance between work and family. IF you can handle an "Office" type job! ;)

I love "Mr. Mom," and my favorite line is "220...221...whatever it takes." Hee heee!

Hugs, Beth

Bucko (a.k.a., Ken) said...

A special night to have both of your life ladies to fall asleep in you arms. Thanks for the nice words about my bride :o)

Lisa said...

I am so glad to have found your journal and look forward to learning more about you, your family and your viewpoints as many of them seem to be the same as mine. Beth is a doll and I've become very fond of her - she is such a real person...hard to find these days.

Your evening was perfect and one to always be remembered. I recall the days when I had all of my dogs with me, before they passed. Three labs and me lying on the bed, cuddled...throw in a cat or two and I would say to them "these are the best moments of my life and it just doesn't get any better." I can vividly recall those feelings and now that two of my labs have passed I cling to those memories. The cruelest thing that could happen to me would be losing those memories as they are what sometimes keep me going.

Anonymous said...

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